Well, I don't write much on my journal, but I've been thinking that I need to do it a lot more often, and since I consider DA a positive environment and my last entry is dated 2012....... you get the idea.
Anyway, lately I've been feeling a little down. My new game project is taking a lot of time and resources (yeah, I had to put Harvest Carnival on hold due to financial issues), and I'm limited on both. Making a game has always been my goal in life (if this would be The Sims, that would be my life achievement ). However, it is hard to keep optimistic when you see that your game is not progressing as fast as you want even though you invest endless days and nights in it.
I was about to take a break and maybe even give up. This made me feel lost. I usually have so many hobbies, but this is not a hobbie to me, it's a goal. I'm willing to stay at home everyday as long as I can work on it, since I enjoy doing so. And stripping myself off it made me feel without a real purpose.
For some reason, in the middle of this decision I wrote to Unity Studios asking for a quote on two of my projects. I know I couldn't afford it, but I said: what else do I have to lose, maybe if it was a reasonable price, I could ask for a loan and take some of my savings....
Then I got a response back from Unity studios... My two projects, even though they were the smallest projects I have, would take no less than 7000 man hours, maybe even more. I always knew that my projects always had a sizing issue, but friends around wouldn't get it since they know nothing about game development, so very often I would get remarks on why am I taking so long or that I'm just moving from project because I am afraid of completing it... when you hear things like that for too long, you start to wonder if it's true.
The reply from Unity Studios basically said that they were great ideas, and that one of them had a lot of potential to be a great game, and that they do understand why I'm never able to complete the projects. That's because they are huge! It would take 7 - 9 months to have 3 dedicated resources working all day on it (maybe even more). I can't fully dedicate, since I have a demanding job (any senior SAP Basis can relate) and sometimes I have to work between 12-20 hours a day and sometimes 5-7 days a week, so I try to take advantage of any opportunity I can. In the end, this reply made me feel like I was right all the time... my projects need to be scaled down, and not really that I'm not doing my tasks well. It's odd, but sometimes your loved ones can make your confidence crumble without wanting to.
Anyway, I'm now highly motivated once again, and will follow the recommendations made to me. I will also try to post more since we all need a support system... a good support system. I will start with a new approach and wiat for some awesomeness (I hope ).
So... as the Doctor would say: allons-y!
If you took the time to see what I had to say, thanks for reading.